The Great Escape....

So I am still at camp. 13 weeks in and I am still here. Still doing the same thing day in, day out. Still in the same wooden bunk with 'I had lice in this bed 2004' written on the bed post. Still looking at the same scenery. Still eating the same oatmeal and raisin cookies and still endlessly brushing knots out of campers hair....

Please, S.O.S!? Anybody?

Even though I have had a great summer camp experience, I have now reached the point I am ready to leave and experience new surroundings. In fact, I have been ready for a month or so now. It isn't that I I haven't enjoyed the experience. I have, I mean I am in America for god sake and I have met some amazing people and created new friendships but it has come to a point where I feel like I am the new star of the Truman Show. Seriously, trying to get away from this place when it is in the middle of no where and you have no car and you only get 8 days off the whole summer is next to impossible. It is as if there is a glass bubble around the whole of camp and when you reach the edge, a squad of children armed with chocolate covered hands, pillow pets and hair chalk (why the obsession?) attack you. 

You may think working at a summer camp is all fun and games but it is hard. You are essentially a parent for 4 months straight, (sorry mum and dad for being wee dickhead I now understand) and work ridiculously long hours. It is rewarding but challenging and after it all, I am honestly gubbed. I am physically exhausted and the overly enthusiastic camp persona I have to portray day in and day out is wearing thin and the only thing that is going to perk it up is sun, a beach, a margarita and a game of frisby, because who doesn't love frisby?  

I have two more weeks left. The kids leave on Sunday and I am staying on to work at a music festival that is held at the camp which will be great but I honestly feel that if I have to take a piss whilst a mouse runs around my feet again I will lose my shit. 

I have loved my summer. I have loved the people. I love camp and I have loved all the kids and had some great laughs and made incredible memories that I wouldn't change and I would encourage everyone and anyone to do it but for me, it is time to go. 

Only 15 days until I am back in civilisation (planning a New Jersey trip for my last few days in America!)

Only 20 days until I get on that plane to Asia. 

Only 21 days before I am sleeping in a king sized bed in a five star hotel in Bangkok (yeah we went all out on the first night, well deserved after camp).

And I will tell you this for nothing, it better come bloody quick before I start answering myself back and rocking bck and forth. 

On the bright side I taught my first ever yoga class with adults yesterday, a nice change from a load of wains. 

You know the overly enthusiastic persona I mentioned, yeah thats it captured in a picture.

And here is a sneeky workout for you all. Now you have seen it you have to do it. Or a goblin will crawl in your window at night at eat you. Do the workout and then send this to ten friends or your granny and her cat will get eaten to. 

Okay I am only joking but I hope you feel guilty now if you don't give it a go! 

Untill next time! (Unless I get taken away by the guys in the white coats that is). 

Pure Heavy Workout Riddys!

Okay, so, something happened to me the other day, a sort of, incident shall we say. One that I have decided to share with you all. The reason being that this incident got me thinking about embarrassing moments when working out, either at home, outside or in the gym and

Let's be honest, we all have had an embarrassing moment or two when trying out a new exercise or starting a new gym or class. Like take that time you fell off the treadmill whilst reading your Facebook newsfeed; or the time you tried that yoga move and got your leg stuck behind your head; or the time when you thought you were Rocky but the punch bag gave you a black eye; or the time you tried to get a lucuzade sport out the vendies but pressed the water button by mistake and cried a bit. Everyone has been there. Even elite athletes. Remember when Paula Radcliff shat herself when running? It was all over the news for weeks. Poor lass. Although, I have heard that losing control of your bladder is a common side affect when pushing yourself to your limits. Hence why I am happy, in fact not happy but proud to tell you all that when running a 4km charity race at camp I Natalie Morgan pissed my pants.

Yeah that's right, at 22 years old I physically wet my knickers. Don't believe me? Well here is a lovely picture of the exact moment when the incident too place....

And there is also a professional picture that will be uploaded on to the camp website along with a video of the event its self where you will see me crossing the finish line yelling 'SHIT I HAVE ACTUALLY PISSED MASEL!'.

So yeah, there you have it. My embarrassing moment. However, I did come first out of all the girls on camp and bet my time from last year and that was even with a panic stop where I didn't know whether to keep running or jump and hide in the bushes. So not all was bad? And it's a story I can write in to a magazine and maybe get a extra $20 for.

You are all probably wondering why the hell I have decided to share this with the world, well 1. I would rather people knew I pissed myself than think I have the most sweaty vagina in the world and 2. it is a good example of how no matter what happens, you should keep going and keep pushing. If you have a bad workout, face plant it after tripping over a dumbbell or use the machine disinfecting spray as a mist cooler on your face - don't let that discourage you. The only thing I am annoyed at is that I stopped to examine the damage when I should of just kept running like the clappers and knocked a few more seconds off my time. Next time come piss or shit I will just keep going.

So guys whenever you think you have humiliated yourself beyond repair, just remember, Natalie Morgan pissed herself whilst running a Camp Fun Run.

Oh Ps: Shout out to my boo who offered great support when I started slowing down....

'who cares if you have pissed yourself, I couldn't care of you pooed yourself just keep running!!!'

What a keeper eh?

Even got myself cleaned up for a group picture! 

Cheat Days, Food Comas & Feeling Like The Next Rikishi

At present I am in a horrific state of affairs. I am in the middle of a ultimate food coma and I am struggling to see the light, or in other words when I will feel human again. Instead of doing 'The Wobble' at the canteen social at camp I will most certainly be doing 'The Woddle' for the next week. And who are the culprits responsible of my current state? Well here they are in all their glory....

Breakfast

Dam you Kellogg Crunchy Nut and your deliciousness, dam you!

Lunch

Yes we ate cake for lunch. Not the full thing but a fair bit. I would like to point out that we actually made it so It's not like we were being lazy or anything...

Dinner 

Cheese and bacon toasties. I throw up a bit in my mouth after this.

So yeah there you have it, the evidence behind my food coma. 

I always feel like cheat days really bring out the bipolar emotions within you. You eat well and exercise on the run up to your epic feast that you have planned and dreamt about and the thought of eating as much junk food as possible in one day sounds like the best thing to ever happen in life and you are filled with excitement and happiness. These emotion continue until you consume all the feast that was meant to last all day in one sitting and then you feel like you never want to see another bit of chocolate (after this last one) ever again and you can do nothing more than just lie, starfished on the bed realizing that you are now currently the fattest person alive. Yeah okay extreme I know but at that precise moment (the moment I am experiencing right now) that is the only way to describe it. Congratulations Natalie Morgan on being the 'Chubbiest Chick of The Year' or at least until a few days from now when you will feel normal again and not like somebody could roll you down the camp hill. Realistically I know I will feel fine again and not like shampoo for too long so instead of lying here starfishedn my starfished state, worrying about if I have contracted diabetes since breakfast I am instead writing this post in hopes of reassuring you all (and myself) that everyone feels like a big fat disaster after eating too many skittles and cookies and that instead of caressing my food baby and weeping that nobody will love me and my chocolate raisinets offspring  I am going to write my tips on how to detox after a epic feast day...

1. Down as much water and green tea as possible and stay away from all soft drinks.
2. Keep the following few days meals simple, fresh veggies and lean protein, stay away from dressings.
3. Cut way back on sugar, even watch fruit in take for the next couple of days.
4. Sweat it out, go for a long run, do sprints, intervals do jumping jacks while watching Corrie, just do something!
5. And finally, pamper yourself. Make your self feel good by doing your hair or nails, having a bath etc. When you feel like crap your mood and attitude sucks so try your best to change that!

With that I bid you all good night as I attempt to sleep off this sugar inflicted headache with hope that I will be in a better state come morning.

Cheat Day - 1 Natalie - 0.

CURSE YOU BETTY CROCKER!!

There's Sun Kissed Stunners And There's Sun Kissed Stunners AND THEN THERE'S ME!

Okay so first and foremost is anyone out there pals with the Bold Gok Wan and mind passing my number on to him? If so it would be hugely appreciated.

The reason I ask this is because at I am currently annoyed. In fact not annoyed, angry. In fact not angry, raging. Crazy, stupid mad. Like, watch out because my fists of fury are going to start going mental and start punching anyone that gets too close. Especially anyone that has sun kissed skin and a face as smooth as a babies arse because that is why I am infuriated. The fact that I am in America and have been for over two months and I still have rotten, see through Scottish skin and a complexion of a pepperoni pizza. Oh, and not to mention that my hair is constantly like a burst couch rather than falling into the sexy-beach-babe-waves like it is supposed to (yeah, I know I am nowhere near a beach but you get what I mean). Even though I am able to workout lots and keep fit as I work in the gym at camp, the downside is that I don't get outside all that much. Whilst all the other staff walk around and bask in the glorious sunshine I am stuck in here, staring out the window with a tear rolling down my cheek as I do some bicep curls. You think I am joking. Here is the evidence; me looking hideous whilst in absolute despair....

Like seriously, look at that. Even a maw fae Gibs Hill couldn't love that mug. 

As I have previously mentioned I am by no means a girly girl who spends lots of time doing my hair and make up but I at least want to look presentable on my travels and not scare away the Chang Mai Hill Tribes with my moustache and split ends. Therefore, I am calling all beauty geeks to help. Help a wee poor soul like me that needs hints and tips on how to look naw bad and be a bit of a helfy when travelling. I am not talking looks worthy of a date with Bradley Cooper but some advice on how to tame my absolute situation of a hair do and how to keep my skin like a peach would be lovely. So ladies (and gentlemen because you lot always seem to look good, why are men so much prettier than women?) please help a girl out? 

Boston Bound

 

My latest trip I took was to the beautiful city of Boston. Unfortunately, I only managed to spend a day there but from my experience I would definitely recommended it if you are ever in the state of Massachusetts. It is such a beautiful, calm city and the total opposite of the busy streets of New York. 

Whilst I was there I took advantage of consuming as much good seafood as possible (at camp you would have to go to the lake to catch something yourself and all the fish see no doubt mutants). On our trip, we went and visited Harvard Univeristy in Cambridge which is a short drive out of the city. No joke, I honestly felt like Legally Blonde. I think it was mostly because my dress was see through and you could blatantly see my arse in my tesco thong. I mean no Harvard student would wear a 75p thong? The grounds were stunning and it was really cool to see it all in real life...

We started off with Fish Tacos for lunch from a pub called the 'Cambridge Common' which is located a short walk from the Harvard grounds on Massachusetts Avenue. They were so, so good. Really fresh and the perfect amount.

Well they were either amazing or I was just drunk of the cocktails and could of been eating a shoe for all I know. 

We then went to Fenway Park- home of the Red Sox baseball team- for a guided tour. We drank in the 'Cask n Flagon' which was voted best baseball bar in 2013 and yes Natalie yet again felt drunk after half a drink. Standard.

For dinner we went down to the Boston harbour and hunted for some lobster rolls which we were advised to get whilst in Boston. We stopped in at 'Yankee Lobster' and had rolls and seafood platters. They wee pretty pricey but so worth it. The rolls were honestly like heaven like if I had died right there nd then I would of been content. The scallops were also the best I have ever ever had (I have only had scallops once before but these were ten times better). I am sure anywhere in the harbour would be amazing. Instead of phoning your local takeaway on Saturday night, book a flight and go to Boston harbour. I promise you it will be worth it. 

Finally, to finish the day we had ice cream (obviously). I couldn't decide weather to have a jumbo Rice Krispy waffle cone or a hot fudge sundae so yeah, I had both, and I ate every last drop and didn't even feel sick. When it comes to ice cream there is never too much. We are honestly the perfect example of how America turns you into a greedy fat bugger. 

Overall, Boston was great and I would love to go again and spend more time in the city. The next day off I had I stayed in a b'n'b with friends (equipped with its own hot tub) and just sunbathed and drank both bloody mary's (my new love) and watermelon cocktails until my lip went that weird way it goes when I am drunk. I managed to even get a bit of colour, they say red is the new shade of bronze.

So beside the eating and drinking on my days off, I have actually been working out really hard at camp. Sticking to my weights programme and cardio workouts. It makes the twelfth cookie and 67th beer all that more enjoyable. If you work out hard then a epic cheat day is deserved. I am already planning my next one and it's what is going to keep me going for the next wee while (next day off is a movie day and some sort of eating challenge that I will be filming so watch this space- I might even spew and be a YouTube sensation, my dream). I have been slacking in publishing my workouts recently but I am going to start making them more frequent. Not going to lie folks I have just been a lazy arsehole who would rather crawl in to my stinking camp sleeping bag when I have time off.  However I promise that I will get back on top of it and that my eagerness to not waste time sleeping has nothing to do with the fact I felt something biting my toes when I was napping the other day. Probably a chipmunk or junior lodger. 

Until next time! 

 

My Personal Fitness Programme and Health Essentials!

Hello fellow fitness fanatics (or ordinary people who can't sleep and fancy reading a load of ham hock to help them doze off, glad I can be of service).

Here I am, again. Still half way up a mountain in the middle of nowhere looking after hundreds of children and starting to feel like Old Mother Hubbard that lived in a shoe (except I am in a tiny single bunk bed which squeaks even if you wiggle your big toe). However, I am still having a great time and have not yet got sick of the flash mobs in the dinning hall at breakfast, lunch and dinner (I didn't even start a square go when that kids havianas went in my potato salad whilst dancing on the table). Camp life is great and I love the 'camp bubble' that has encased us all. Being able to forget about the worries back home is somewhat marvellous and now my only fear is not getting an oatmeal and raisin cookie(s) for dessert because I have nipped to the loo. Overall, life is pretty sweet and carefree! 

As I have previously mentioned, my aim for the summer is to gain muscle and strength and I have been following an 8 week programme split in to two 4 weeks blocks to help me reach my goal. The programme splits the days into upper body and lower body with the first block having two upper and two lower days and the second block having two upper and three lower days (I want Quadzilla legs so I decided to step it up). The programme consists of basic strength exercises; 

Block One (4 days, 4 weeks, 4 sets, 8-12 reps) 

Upper A 

Bench Press 

Bentover Row

Dumbbell Shoulder Press

Skull Crushers 

Barbell Curls

Finisher - Tabata Tricep Dips

Lower A 

Back Squat

Stiff Legged Deadlift

Overhead Lunges

Pistol Squat (TRX/Body Weight) 

Calf Raises (Body Weight) 

Finisher - Tabata Jump Squats/Plyo Lunges

Upper B 

Dips

Pull Ups

Lateral Raises

Tricep Pulldowns

Hammer Curls

Finisher - Tabata Push Ups

Lower B

Deadlifts

Leg Press

Bulgarian Split Squat

Goblet Squat 

Calf Raises (Body Weight) 

Finisher - Tabata Squat Jumps/Plyo Lunges 

Block Two (5 days, 4 weeks, 4/5 sets, 8-12 reps)

Lower A 

Back Squat (5 sets) 

Stiff Legged Deadlifts (5 sets) 

Overhead Lunges

Goblet squats

Pistol Squats

Finisher - 3 x Max Squat Jumps

Upper A

Barbell Bench Press (5 sets)

Single Arm Bentover Row (5 sets) 

Dips

Chin Ups

Barbell Shoulder Press

Finisher - 3 x Max Push Ups

Lower B

Leg Press (5 sets) 

Single Leg Deadlift (5 sets) 

Barbell Lunge

Goblet Squat

Pistol Squat (TRX/Body Weight)

Finisher - 3 x Max Box Jumps

Upper B

Dumbbell Bench Press (5 sets) 

Pull Ups (5 sets) 

Lateral Raises

Bicep Curl

Tricep Pull Downs

Finisher - 3 x Max Inverted Row

Lower C

Back Squat (5 sets)

Romanian Deadlift (5 sets) 

Goblet Reverse Lunge

Lateral Lunge

Pistol Squat (TRX/Body Weight)

Finisher - 3 x Max Jump Lunges 

As well as my strength programme I have been doing spin classes, metafit classes and sprints for cardio 4-5 times a week and trying to fit in yoga and stretching sessions 1-2 days a week. 

Supplements

Centrum Womens Multivitamins 

Living with 15 other girls, sharing the same toilets and showers as well as being in a dinning hall with over 500 people means you need to make sure you keep yourself safe against germs and sickness, I highly recommended a multivitamin whilst travelling and I was willing to spend a bit to insure I got good quality. These centrum womens one a day tablets cost me $15. 

Colon Cleanse Tablets 

I take these when the camp food doesn't agree with me and won't let nature take its course, sorry to spoil it for you boys but yes girls do actually poo. 

Gold Standrd Milk Chocolate Protein Whey

Great quality and great price. $58 for 2.27kg and it is very low in sugar. I would recommend the mocha cappuccino flavour for coffee lovers! I have this after my morning workout everyday. 

Quest Protein Bars

These are pure joy. The best protein bars I have tried with very few added ingredients, lots of fibre and little sugar.  They taste amazing and don't have that powdery taste that most bars have. They come in lots of different flavours and they average out $25 for a box of 12. Currently munching on cookie dough, cinnamon roll and coconut cashew! 

Next Adventure

I am also currently planning a day trip to Boston in the next few weeks and we have already looked up Adam Richmonds food challenges. Contemplating on trying the Eagle Deli 12lbs burger and fries challenge....

Only if I get a loyal volunteer to give me CPR when I have a heart attack after. 

Watch this space for my Boston cheat day hot spots! Oh and I promise I will start blogging about healthy food too, soon, maybe, at somepoint? 

Untill next time! 

If I Was a Rich (Wo)man....

Howdy Y'all! (God that isn't even cool when you type it, I have been in hanging about with too many Americans)

So I haven't been able to blog as much as I would like but I expected that from being at camp last year. Even though working at a Summer camp is fun, it actually is quite similar to a full time job. The days are long and jam packed and you kind of lose interest in the world outside your 'camp bubble'. Between looking after the kids, working in your department and chasing the chipmunks out the bunk with a broom, (one got into my cubby and ate all my M&Ms, devastated doesn't cover it) usually the spare hour you have is used for sleeping or talking yourself into showering because at camp not shaving your legs for the whole summer is acceptable (listen, it gets cold at night and you could light a match on them for a camp fire, so really I am just thinking about the kids here). I have also had a bit of writers block over the past few weeks. I am putting this down to the fact that I am currently living up a f**king mountain in upstate New York where you would probably be better off making your own satellite with a potato and tin foil in order to get a signal. 

Another thing that I love about camp life apart from my legs always being snug as a bug is that nobody really cares about what you look like and how you dress and if you are wearing the latest fashion trend. Like I have mentioned in previous posts I am pretty baws at being a woman. I have never had my nails done and I don't wear make up unless I am going to the dancing because I am constantly a big sweaty disaster from the gym. Honestly, I would rather spend my dosh on food and lager shandys... I don't even have an issue with pulling wedgies out in public, even front ones. To add to these desirable qualities, I am not really interested in clothes. I am lucky to have a sister and friends who let me pinch their outfits that they wore the weekend before so I have never been one to spend ridiculous amounts of money on fashion and I find shopping absolutely horrific. Instead of looking for clothes I just end up looking for a mannequin that I can lean against and have a chat with. However, in order to overcome my writer's block I decided to try the idea of creating a sports fashion wish list and once I started looking - I couldn't stop. I then compared all the beautiful (albeit ridiculously overpriced) clothing with my own 4 year old sports bras and I had a bit of a cry. I explored the likes of Adidas, Nike and LuLu Lemon and each item cost more than what I make in a week at camp. So yeah, it was a swift kick to the goonies when I discovered that I will never be a fashionista, instead I will just need to wear my holey leggings (which I didn't realized had a hole in the arse cheek until somebody pointed it out to me mid squat) and walmart dollar bras (tits are tiny anyway). 

When you throw in the jammie top that I wore to bed the night before, all together this get up   makes a bonnie sight in the gym!

Anyway, time to stop feeling sorry for myself and show you all my wish list and what I would have in my shopping basket if I was rich and if I could be arsed actually going shopping....

Adidas

I am absolutely in love with Adidas's shorts and leggings. The pair I am wearing with the hole in them in the picture are Adidas and I wore them until the death, my plan is to just try and put a patch on them with the words 'sexy bum' printed on it in big sparkly letters. That would be cool, nah? 

Nike

Ah Nike. What an absolute prick. over priced but just so god damn alluring. I am desperate for a pair of Nike Free 4.0 Flyknits but can't find a spare $140 lying around. Searched all the bus stops and under ever couch and only managed to find a dime and a few sour patch kids. 

Lululemon

Oh my god why. Why did somebody tell me about this Canadian brand? Believe it or not those are workout t-shirts. You could go to the gym then walk straight in to the local night club without even going home to change. Talk about killing two birds with one stone. All these tank tops are stunning and think you should all buy me one for my Christmas. I help you get fit, you make me look pretty. Perfect deal. 

These are only a few items I saw and I had to narrow it down. As we are in the middle of no where at camp and I can't drive (I can but I tell people that because I am worse than a blind granny with a club foot) my only way of buying any of this is ordering it online. Really hoping that chipmunk comes back and steals my bank card or soon I will actually will have to busk for money in Asia with my ukelele (which I still can't play, it's its a working progress, stop asking me about it). 

Not sure what or when my next post will be, it will probably come to me when I am finally shaving my legs however please keep following my instagram (@globesquatterblog) for daily fitness tips and videos!

The Return of The Quadzilla....

Hey folks! 

I have arrived and finally started my 4 month summer at camp and it feels like I have never left. For many people who are experiencing their first summer as a camp counsellor it can be pretty daunting. You realise you have no wifi to upload your tenth selfie of the day, there is no where that you can shave you legs in private, there is a weird smell coming from under your bed and you are pretty sure that the squeeking sound you can here isn't the floor boards but probably the mouse in the corner eating your stash of dairy milk. You will lie in bed the first night on a mattress that makes you feel like the princess and the pea and wonder why the hell you decided to do this in the first place  but honestly, it gets better. In fact it gets great. Yes it is daunting and yes the ten kids climbing on you, braiding your hair and giving you a make over that ends in you resembling Pete Burns can be a bit over whelming but my advice is just go with it, relax and embrace the camp bubble. You will find yourself losing touch with the outside world and forgetting about 'real life' and that is why I love it. The people you will meet and the kids you will look after will become like family and soon you will be dreading the thought of leaving that bed that has your feet sticking out the bottom. So yeah just chill. Don't take your self to seriously and work the walk to breakfast like a catwalk when your kids dare you to wear your knickers over your trousers whilst walking backwards (it happens). 

Summer Goals 

I am back working as one of the camps fitness instructors in the gym and will be taking spin, bootcamp, running club & circuits so will have no problem keeping fit. However I do have a summer goal and that goal is to be 'Quadzilla' (I have been told to inform you all that Rustin Davitt came up with this name and he is infact the genius behind the creativity, happy?)

So what do I mean by the term 'Quadzilla'? Basically I want to beef up my legs and gain muscle and strength. I want the ground to shake, people's Gatorade to tremor  and everyone to yell 'oh no here comes Natalie with her massive muscley legs that could crack walnuts, lets all hide our legs because hers are so big and muscley and amazing'. Okay maybe not that far but you get the picture. My main fitness goal is to gain strength and along with my fitness classes I will be doing a lot of weight training to reach my goal and trying to eat as healthy as I can at camp. Apart from on off days when eating any form of vegetable is banned and if the rule is broken you are allowed to karate chop the rule breaker in the nose and force feed them a litre of Ben and Jerrys.

DAY OFF TREATS Y'ALL! 

(So far all the food I have posted has been cheat meals, I will start eating healthy tomorrow....or Monday, yeah Monday I promise, until then would somebody stick the waffle iorn on please?) 

I will be posting all of my workouts that I will be doing to reach my fitness goals on my Instagram account (@globesquatterblog) along with demo videos but here is a quick body weight workout you can do at camp, traveling or at home that requires no equipment. 

Give it a go and record your time! 

Also I realise that this post is pretty random and a bit pointless but I just write whatever is on my mind, (currently thinking about getting more Ben and Jerrys and m&ms and what colour I should paint my toe nails) and most of the time what's on my mind doesn't make much sense, however I usually have a background theme song on the go, at the moment it's Sweet Home Alabama. 

Yeah I will shut up now, until next time!