Lads On Tour Are Coming Fur YOU!

So you have all heard of the movie terminal yeah? You know the one with Tom Hanks where he is literally stuck in an airport and can’t get out? Well I am pretty sure we were in just in the sequel.

Of course this would happen. Imagine, four young backpackers getting ready to start their journey, picturing the first celebratory drink in the airport, testing out their backpacks to make sure that they just break their lower backs and no more, getting excited for all the ‘unique’ and ‘personal’ treasures they will collect on their way – like string anklets, hair braids and a tattoo of the infinity sign that reads ‘Life Love Laugh’. Imagine the smiling faces of these individuals, only to be ruined by the fact they find out that their flight has been delayed meaning they will miss their connecting flight to their destination and the next one isn’t for another three days.

Yeah these poor souls were us and I can tell you that it was, to put it bluntly – an absolute kick in the balls.

We were literally about to step out the door to the airport when we found out that our flight was delayed by 7 hours (yes, 7 hours, like what the hell even is that? Did the pilots decide to stop half way for a pint and a packet of McCoys?) and before you could say ‘let’s think rationally’ me and Sam had gone all Scottish and were ready for a fight, Rustin had grabbed his didgeridoo and was keen to whack a bitch and Liam, well Liam was there being very British and was probably the one that was going to actually sort us out and not end up in jail. So with a strong team the ‘Lads on Tour Asia Squad’ decided to go to the airport regardless and demand that our many accents be heard and that justice was prevailed!

Marching up to the desk at JKF (buzzing for a square go) we were told that we couldn’t do anything about the connecting flight until we landed in the lay over airport, Stockholm. ‘Okay’ we said, just as well for them, they were save from my fists of fury…. for now.

After a 7 hour wait in the airport, a few beers, bloody marys and chicken wings (which were pretty good actually) we boarded our flight to Stockholm ready to rest for the next day – when we would fight for all humans that can only afford cheap airlines that nobody has ever heard of and probably require each individual passenger to give the plane a wee push to get it going. Yeah, we had our game faces on.

Arriving in Stockholm (after finding our luggage at a completely different part of the airport, good tactic, giving yourself time to prepare for the battle), we headed to the customer service desk, guns blazing, hearts pounding, fists clenched…..

Liam (all posh and British) - ‘Excuse me, our flight was delayed by 7 hours and we therefore missed our connecting flight to Bangkok, what are you going to do about it?’

Customer Service Wumen – ‘How about a free night’s stay in the airports 4 Star hotel, complimentary breakfast, lunch and dinner and use of all facilities and a change of flight for tomorrow with a 5 star airline’

Us – ‘Aye….I suppose that will have to do hen’

Absolutely bloody marvellous.

I mean look at this, LOOK AT THIS...

 

All for free. FREE! 

And yes that is a carrot. A bloody big Rodger Rabbit carrot for breaky!? Whit even!?

Okay so maybe I m getting a bit over excited but stuff like this never happens to me, usually my luck consists of making the bus to work on time. I even got to workout and take bother embarrassing picture of me globesquatter in. Sweedish gym! Superb! 

Anyway, now that all that excitement is over we hve finally arrived in Bangkok and have checked in to our five star hotel. Pictures nd. Workout to follow but at the moment I am away for a drink, some Thai Green Curry and a kip. 

To be continued....

Yes I have noticed a few errors in this, actually I may as well of written it blind folded but awk I am tired so you get what you're given, be grateful! 

'Let's All Workout At a Music Festival!' Said Nobody Ever.

Hey Everyone! 

For many of you, the summer is all about packing your tent, putting on your wellies and heading off to join in with fellow festival goers. Between all the acts you want to see, the alcohol, the dancing and the lack of sleep it is hard to find the time to bash out some burpees and exercise so I thought I would give you an idea on how to overcome this....

Don't do it. 

Really, don't. You will just look like at tit and kill the chilled and relaxed atmosphere by flaring your arms and legs about doing jumping jacks and high knees. 

Instead, work those jaw muscles by eating from all the junk food stalls, keep that liver on its toes by have a bit of a bevy and use the run to the front of the main stage as your cardio. forget about that six pack and instead, go grab a six pack of corona. That is my advice and this weekend I was able to do so whilst working at the Catskill Chill Fest, a music festival based at my camp in upstate New York. 

Check me, pretending to be all cool and shit. 

The Catskill Chill Fest  is basically, a huge hippe festival with, let's say....different music, unique stalls and eh, interesting people who are all very very happy - all the time. 

One of the things I loved about the festival was the food stalls. There were so many to choose from. Juice bars, vegetarian bars, doughnuts, kebab stalls, bakery's, a BBQ place that sold bacon sundaes (so upset I didn't try it). It was so strange seeing camp as something other than what it is. It didn't feel like we were in the same place we have been for 4 months. The whole atmosphere changed and being able to have a beer break or two during your shift was also bloody marvelous. 

For some, the Catskill Chill Fest would be a bit on the strange side but I thought it was pretty great. I was able to experience something I would never think to go to, be surrounded by people who are actually passionate about the music and I also learnt that I should stay away from 'edibles' because they send you a bit doo-la-lay and make you think everyone has a British accent. Life lesson right there. 

Chill Fam! 

If you have taken my advice and decided to just be a drunken, junk eating diddy for the weekend, come the end you will feel -to put it bluntly - like a big sack of jobby, so here is my 'Festival Flush' workout to help you feel human again along with the strict rule of no more Gyros and Bud. This is a health and fitness blog after all....

This workout is also a sample of the Globesquatter 60 Day Shred Program that is currently in progress! Watch this space as hopefully a weeks trial will be in place very soon! 

Until next time! 

'Cause You're Free To Do What You Want To Do!

The time had come. It was finally here. I finally left the grounds of camp and I was venturing into the world of the unknown. My quest? Well there were many. The first however was to eat a meal that didnt require me to eat with plastic cutlery; find the biggest bottle of wine, wait who am I kidding, the biggest bottle of vodka in the world and a bed that felt like the clouds that would surround the gates to heaven. 15 weeks of living in what felt like the set of Twilight it is safe to say we were all in dire need of some luxury. Well, whatever luxury we can get on a backpackers budget (Card board box under a bridge anyone?). 

I am so excited that I can now surround myself with different sights. Being able to have the freedom of getting up when I want to, eat when I want to, have a shower that lasts longer than 5 minutes with no wains talking to you whilst you are washing your pits and to actually feel like I am travelling. Hallelujah! 

First Stop New Jersey.....

We stayed with friends in New Jersey and of course I made them take me to where they film Housewives of New Jersey and bloody hell the houses were crazy. Like ridiculous. I mean, you could definitely do 50 cartwheels up and down the hall and there would 100% be a guy at the door named Jeeves handing you a hot towel and champers when you walked in. 

The next day we had a total change of scene and headed to Atlantic City, the location of the tv show 'Jersey Shore'. Lets just say it made Blackpool look like a luxury destination. It resembles a place that Rab C Nesbit and the crew would vacation to but luckily for me I love places like that. From the pensioners and their cowboy hats on the slot machines to the stalls that sold 99cent hot dogs (respect to the people tht would eat a peice of 'meat' that was selling for 99cent, we will see how that turns out for you) everything was so tacky but bloody brilliant at the same time! 

Me being a tit. 

NYC

Me being a tit again 

We then spent two nights in the city, chilled out, took a walk through Central Park did some yoga, had pub grub and got drunk off of two drinks, well I did because even the of smell alcohol gets me drunk. It was amazing to just relax and do nothing. You should of seen me when the man came to the door with robes at the hotel. I near enough pissed masel I was that excited! I was convinced they had me confused for a celebrity. Canny take the girl out if Inverclyde eh? 

Suburb Living....

After realising that we were poor and actually couldn't afford NYC life for the last three days we stayed with one of my campers family (or I like to call them my adopted American Family) in the suburbs. They have taken us out for some amazing food including sushi where we ate a boat load. No seriously we literally had a boat filled with sushi....

Aye that is a boat, A BOAT!!!!

And and and, I even got my hair done. Like in a proper hair salon, not over a bath tub wilst using an alarm clock as a timer. A guy named Andre who had more blusher than me pampered me and made me a 'wee spicy'. I asked him for a selfie but he was a bit shy (or thought I was mental) so I had to settle for one on my tod...

 Looking absolutely ravishing as always. 

I can't thank my American family enough for everything they have done for me over the past two years. I am going to miss them a crazy amount! I LOVE YOU MORRIS CLAN!

And now, it is finally time to say cheerio to the States. I am not sure when I will be back but I feel like the small town of Hancock NY has been a second home to me. This isn't a goodbye, it's a see you later because I will 100% be paying a visit again some day. 

However until then......

NEXT STOP BANGKOK BABY! 

Todaloo Mother....

Oh wait we are delayed by 48 hours and now have to stay in Stockholm. 

Shit. 

Heavy raging. 

IKEA meatballs for dinner anyone? 

The Great Escape....

So I am still at camp. 13 weeks in and I am still here. Still doing the same thing day in, day out. Still in the same wooden bunk with 'I had lice in this bed 2004' written on the bed post. Still looking at the same scenery. Still eating the same oatmeal and raisin cookies and still endlessly brushing knots out of campers hair....

Please, S.O.S!? Anybody?

Even though I have had a great summer camp experience, I have now reached the point I am ready to leave and experience new surroundings. In fact, I have been ready for a month or so now. It isn't that I I haven't enjoyed the experience. I have, I mean I am in America for god sake and I have met some amazing people and created new friendships but it has come to a point where I feel like I am the new star of the Truman Show. Seriously, trying to get away from this place when it is in the middle of no where and you have no car and you only get 8 days off the whole summer is next to impossible. It is as if there is a glass bubble around the whole of camp and when you reach the edge, a squad of children armed with chocolate covered hands, pillow pets and hair chalk (why the obsession?) attack you. 

You may think working at a summer camp is all fun and games but it is hard. You are essentially a parent for 4 months straight, (sorry mum and dad for being wee dickhead I now understand) and work ridiculously long hours. It is rewarding but challenging and after it all, I am honestly gubbed. I am physically exhausted and the overly enthusiastic camp persona I have to portray day in and day out is wearing thin and the only thing that is going to perk it up is sun, a beach, a margarita and a game of frisby, because who doesn't love frisby?  

I have two more weeks left. The kids leave on Sunday and I am staying on to work at a music festival that is held at the camp which will be great but I honestly feel that if I have to take a piss whilst a mouse runs around my feet again I will lose my shit. 

I have loved my summer. I have loved the people. I love camp and I have loved all the kids and had some great laughs and made incredible memories that I wouldn't change and I would encourage everyone and anyone to do it but for me, it is time to go. 

Only 15 days until I am back in civilisation (planning a New Jersey trip for my last few days in America!)

Only 20 days until I get on that plane to Asia. 

Only 21 days before I am sleeping in a king sized bed in a five star hotel in Bangkok (yeah we went all out on the first night, well deserved after camp).

And I will tell you this for nothing, it better come bloody quick before I start answering myself back and rocking bck and forth. 

On the bright side I taught my first ever yoga class with adults yesterday, a nice change from a load of wains. 

You know the overly enthusiastic persona I mentioned, yeah thats it captured in a picture.

And here is a sneeky workout for you all. Now you have seen it you have to do it. Or a goblin will crawl in your window at night at eat you. Do the workout and then send this to ten friends or your granny and her cat will get eaten to. 

Okay I am only joking but I hope you feel guilty now if you don't give it a go! 

Untill next time! (Unless I get taken away by the guys in the white coats that is). 

Pure Heavy Workout Riddys!

Okay, so, something happened to me the other day, a sort of, incident shall we say. One that I have decided to share with you all. The reason being that this incident got me thinking about embarrassing moments when working out, either at home, outside or in the gym and

Let's be honest, we all have had an embarrassing moment or two when trying out a new exercise or starting a new gym or class. Like take that time you fell off the treadmill whilst reading your Facebook newsfeed; or the time you tried that yoga move and got your leg stuck behind your head; or the time when you thought you were Rocky but the punch bag gave you a black eye; or the time you tried to get a lucuzade sport out the vendies but pressed the water button by mistake and cried a bit. Everyone has been there. Even elite athletes. Remember when Paula Radcliff shat herself when running? It was all over the news for weeks. Poor lass. Although, I have heard that losing control of your bladder is a common side affect when pushing yourself to your limits. Hence why I am happy, in fact not happy but proud to tell you all that when running a 4km charity race at camp I Natalie Morgan pissed my pants.

Yeah that's right, at 22 years old I physically wet my knickers. Don't believe me? Well here is a lovely picture of the exact moment when the incident too place....

And there is also a professional picture that will be uploaded on to the camp website along with a video of the event its self where you will see me crossing the finish line yelling 'SHIT I HAVE ACTUALLY PISSED MASEL!'.

So yeah, there you have it. My embarrassing moment. However, I did come first out of all the girls on camp and bet my time from last year and that was even with a panic stop where I didn't know whether to keep running or jump and hide in the bushes. So not all was bad? And it's a story I can write in to a magazine and maybe get a extra $20 for.

You are all probably wondering why the hell I have decided to share this with the world, well 1. I would rather people knew I pissed myself than think I have the most sweaty vagina in the world and 2. it is a good example of how no matter what happens, you should keep going and keep pushing. If you have a bad workout, face plant it after tripping over a dumbbell or use the machine disinfecting spray as a mist cooler on your face - don't let that discourage you. The only thing I am annoyed at is that I stopped to examine the damage when I should of just kept running like the clappers and knocked a few more seconds off my time. Next time come piss or shit I will just keep going.

So guys whenever you think you have humiliated yourself beyond repair, just remember, Natalie Morgan pissed herself whilst running a Camp Fun Run.

Oh Ps: Shout out to my boo who offered great support when I started slowing down....

'who cares if you have pissed yourself, I couldn't care of you pooed yourself just keep running!!!'

What a keeper eh?

Even got myself cleaned up for a group picture! 

Cheat Days, Food Comas & Feeling Like The Next Rikishi

At present I am in a horrific state of affairs. I am in the middle of a ultimate food coma and I am struggling to see the light, or in other words when I will feel human again. Instead of doing 'The Wobble' at the canteen social at camp I will most certainly be doing 'The Woddle' for the next week. And who are the culprits responsible of my current state? Well here they are in all their glory....

Breakfast

Dam you Kellogg Crunchy Nut and your deliciousness, dam you!

Lunch

Yes we ate cake for lunch. Not the full thing but a fair bit. I would like to point out that we actually made it so It's not like we were being lazy or anything...

Dinner 

Cheese and bacon toasties. I throw up a bit in my mouth after this.

So yeah there you have it, the evidence behind my food coma. 

I always feel like cheat days really bring out the bipolar emotions within you. You eat well and exercise on the run up to your epic feast that you have planned and dreamt about and the thought of eating as much junk food as possible in one day sounds like the best thing to ever happen in life and you are filled with excitement and happiness. These emotion continue until you consume all the feast that was meant to last all day in one sitting and then you feel like you never want to see another bit of chocolate (after this last one) ever again and you can do nothing more than just lie, starfished on the bed realizing that you are now currently the fattest person alive. Yeah okay extreme I know but at that precise moment (the moment I am experiencing right now) that is the only way to describe it. Congratulations Natalie Morgan on being the 'Chubbiest Chick of The Year' or at least until a few days from now when you will feel normal again and not like somebody could roll you down the camp hill. Realistically I know I will feel fine again and not like shampoo for too long so instead of lying here starfishedn my starfished state, worrying about if I have contracted diabetes since breakfast I am instead writing this post in hopes of reassuring you all (and myself) that everyone feels like a big fat disaster after eating too many skittles and cookies and that instead of caressing my food baby and weeping that nobody will love me and my chocolate raisinets offspring  I am going to write my tips on how to detox after a epic feast day...

1. Down as much water and green tea as possible and stay away from all soft drinks.
2. Keep the following few days meals simple, fresh veggies and lean protein, stay away from dressings.
3. Cut way back on sugar, even watch fruit in take for the next couple of days.
4. Sweat it out, go for a long run, do sprints, intervals do jumping jacks while watching Corrie, just do something!
5. And finally, pamper yourself. Make your self feel good by doing your hair or nails, having a bath etc. When you feel like crap your mood and attitude sucks so try your best to change that!

With that I bid you all good night as I attempt to sleep off this sugar inflicted headache with hope that I will be in a better state come morning.

Cheat Day - 1 Natalie - 0.

CURSE YOU BETTY CROCKER!!

There's Sun Kissed Stunners And There's Sun Kissed Stunners AND THEN THERE'S ME!

Okay so first and foremost is anyone out there pals with the Bold Gok Wan and mind passing my number on to him? If so it would be hugely appreciated.

The reason I ask this is because at I am currently annoyed. In fact not annoyed, angry. In fact not angry, raging. Crazy, stupid mad. Like, watch out because my fists of fury are going to start going mental and start punching anyone that gets too close. Especially anyone that has sun kissed skin and a face as smooth as a babies arse because that is why I am infuriated. The fact that I am in America and have been for over two months and I still have rotten, see through Scottish skin and a complexion of a pepperoni pizza. Oh, and not to mention that my hair is constantly like a burst couch rather than falling into the sexy-beach-babe-waves like it is supposed to (yeah, I know I am nowhere near a beach but you get what I mean). Even though I am able to workout lots and keep fit as I work in the gym at camp, the downside is that I don't get outside all that much. Whilst all the other staff walk around and bask in the glorious sunshine I am stuck in here, staring out the window with a tear rolling down my cheek as I do some bicep curls. You think I am joking. Here is the evidence; me looking hideous whilst in absolute despair....

Like seriously, look at that. Even a maw fae Gibs Hill couldn't love that mug. 

As I have previously mentioned I am by no means a girly girl who spends lots of time doing my hair and make up but I at least want to look presentable on my travels and not scare away the Chang Mai Hill Tribes with my moustache and split ends. Therefore, I am calling all beauty geeks to help. Help a wee poor soul like me that needs hints and tips on how to look naw bad and be a bit of a helfy when travelling. I am not talking looks worthy of a date with Bradley Cooper but some advice on how to tame my absolute situation of a hair do and how to keep my skin like a peach would be lovely. So ladies (and gentlemen because you lot always seem to look good, why are men so much prettier than women?) please help a girl out? 

Boston Bound

 

My latest trip I took was to the beautiful city of Boston. Unfortunately, I only managed to spend a day there but from my experience I would definitely recommended it if you are ever in the state of Massachusetts. It is such a beautiful, calm city and the total opposite of the busy streets of New York. 

Whilst I was there I took advantage of consuming as much good seafood as possible (at camp you would have to go to the lake to catch something yourself and all the fish see no doubt mutants). On our trip, we went and visited Harvard Univeristy in Cambridge which is a short drive out of the city. No joke, I honestly felt like Legally Blonde. I think it was mostly because my dress was see through and you could blatantly see my arse in my tesco thong. I mean no Harvard student would wear a 75p thong? The grounds were stunning and it was really cool to see it all in real life...

We started off with Fish Tacos for lunch from a pub called the 'Cambridge Common' which is located a short walk from the Harvard grounds on Massachusetts Avenue. They were so, so good. Really fresh and the perfect amount.

Well they were either amazing or I was just drunk of the cocktails and could of been eating a shoe for all I know. 

We then went to Fenway Park- home of the Red Sox baseball team- for a guided tour. We drank in the 'Cask n Flagon' which was voted best baseball bar in 2013 and yes Natalie yet again felt drunk after half a drink. Standard.

For dinner we went down to the Boston harbour and hunted for some lobster rolls which we were advised to get whilst in Boston. We stopped in at 'Yankee Lobster' and had rolls and seafood platters. They wee pretty pricey but so worth it. The rolls were honestly like heaven like if I had died right there nd then I would of been content. The scallops were also the best I have ever ever had (I have only had scallops once before but these were ten times better). I am sure anywhere in the harbour would be amazing. Instead of phoning your local takeaway on Saturday night, book a flight and go to Boston harbour. I promise you it will be worth it. 

Finally, to finish the day we had ice cream (obviously). I couldn't decide weather to have a jumbo Rice Krispy waffle cone or a hot fudge sundae so yeah, I had both, and I ate every last drop and didn't even feel sick. When it comes to ice cream there is never too much. We are honestly the perfect example of how America turns you into a greedy fat bugger. 

Overall, Boston was great and I would love to go again and spend more time in the city. The next day off I had I stayed in a b'n'b with friends (equipped with its own hot tub) and just sunbathed and drank both bloody mary's (my new love) and watermelon cocktails until my lip went that weird way it goes when I am drunk. I managed to even get a bit of colour, they say red is the new shade of bronze.

So beside the eating and drinking on my days off, I have actually been working out really hard at camp. Sticking to my weights programme and cardio workouts. It makes the twelfth cookie and 67th beer all that more enjoyable. If you work out hard then a epic cheat day is deserved. I am already planning my next one and it's what is going to keep me going for the next wee while (next day off is a movie day and some sort of eating challenge that I will be filming so watch this space- I might even spew and be a YouTube sensation, my dream). I have been slacking in publishing my workouts recently but I am going to start making them more frequent. Not going to lie folks I have just been a lazy arsehole who would rather crawl in to my stinking camp sleeping bag when I have time off.  However I promise that I will get back on top of it and that my eagerness to not waste time sleeping has nothing to do with the fact I felt something biting my toes when I was napping the other day. Probably a chipmunk or junior lodger. 

Until next time!