I had read so many blogs on the bus trip from Luang Prabang to Hanoi, including the one by the poor lad who had to settle for a plastic garden chair in the aisle as there wasn't enough seats and the one where the tourists were made to get off the bus and walk 2km in the passing rain to the boarder while the locals got driven on the bus. By reading all of these, I now feel that it did help mentally prepare me for the journey. Equipped with water, food and diazepam I felt ready to take on the challenge. At the station we had our visa dates checked in order to get our tickets. This was the reason we were not allowed to board the bus a couple of days previously as Rustins visa had the wrong date. This had happened to a few people we were speaking to so just make sure before hand that you don't try and go earlier than your visa states as they will not let you in. For us it just meant two extra days by the pool in Luang Prabang which was fine with me!
As I was about to step on the bus my game face was on, however it would seem that expecting the worse was actually the best thing I could have done. Before me were two levels of reclining chairs that went right back so they pretty much made a bed, air con, places to put your bags and even some mad disco lights around the ceiling. So far, so good.
We started up our tablet, watching Batman, eating snack and lounging on the reclining seats/beds with the blankets that they provided us with. At this point I couldn't see why people had been so dramatic? Yes there wasn't a toilet but besides that it was pretty cosy....and then the bus started moving.
Happy as Always.
For the first 4 hours you are literally going up what feels ike a heltor skeltor so if you suffer from travel sickness like my self it is pretty horrific so come prepared with travel pills or bands. The twists and turns also, for me made it pretty much impossible to sleep. I promised my self that I wouldn't take the diazepam until I was desperate so after counting what must havd been 1000 odd sheep I finally dozed off. Having one of my malaria tablet induced dreams (weird as f**k for those that don't know) I was quite content - until I was woken by (sorry I am not usually one for name calling but she was an arse) a pretty large Vietnamese women telling me to move from my seat so she could sit there!? I had been told that all the tourists get made to sit up the back of the bus which I accepted but I didn't pay $50 to be woken by an absolute beast. Tired and confused I got up and moved. This was one of a few random stops the bus made. Not many people got on but the drivers would get off and stand outside for a good 20 minutes everytime and it would be in the middle of no where. I got up once to do a wee which you need to do on the side of the road as they don't stop at public toilets. I am not arsed about peeing out doors, heck I pissed myself the other week, the only thing I was worried about was that the bus was going to drive off without me as they just kept shouting at me whilst I was squatting.
Oh and the bus also got stuck in mud at around 3.30am, twice, and the crew plus some passengers had to get off to push it. Honestly was looking around for Ashton Kutcher at this point thinking we must of been on Punk'd.
We arrived at the Vietnam boarder at 7am and it was a pretty easy procedure but took an absolute age as there were quite a lot of people to get through. Once back on the bus we started the next half of our journey, again making random stops at the side of the road with the crew telling us to get off for no reason other than to stand outside and stare at each other. We literally had no idea what was going on. Like, picture the Glasgow Buchanan Bus Station and the sights you see there then imagine a bus stop ten times worse than that. Yeah, mind boggling.
The final stop the bus made was about 2 hours outside the city of Hanoi where we were told to get off and get on to another bus, this one more like a public transport everyday minivan. Again we had no idea why this was as the bus we were on bloody drove beside us near enough the whole way anyway. Then, half an hour in to this journey, the bus stopped, again, with all the crew getting off to sit in a restaurant for dinner whilst all us spare tits stayed on board. By this point I couldn't help but laugh. You honestly couldn't write this shit ha!
So after the crew had finished their mothers meeting, they got back on the bus, but not before inviting the whole dam restaurant on board. Literally. The bus was packed to begin with but oh no, extra seats came out of the ground, walls the flipping roof and they all just stood their shouting at each other in Vietnamese as to where to sit. I was ready with my phone to capture some happy slapping.
Once we got in to Hanoi we were swarmed by taxi men. Some on scooters some on cars all offering to take us to our hostel. Another warning is that they try and charge you $5 a person for a lift so bargin with them to get it cheaper. Our taxi driver drove around for about 30 miniutes trying to find our hostel after saying he knew where it was (typical) but we eventually arrived at the Lucky Guesthouse where we would be staying for two nights. Thank Christ.
Absolutely Wrecked.
All in the trip was long and tiring and I don't think I have smelt so humming in my whole life but I wouldn't go as far to say it was the journey from hell. If anything it ws just more bizzare? The whole time we didn't have a Scooby as to what was happening and it was a bit like musical chairs sometimes but it wasn't as bad as people made out. It was an experience I will never forget and as long as you go not expecting much and have a sense of humour about it all it's fine.
What I did not have a sense of humour about however was that for dinner that night I ate chicken 'gizzards' thinking it was just bits of grilled chicken only to realise it was actually chicken intestines. And what really gets me is that fact that I thought it tasted bloody marvellous.
In order to rid myself of the gizzards myself and Rust worked out in our hotel room. We had little space but like I say, no excuses there is always room for a workout!
As many rounds as you can in 25 minutes, gee it a bash. Mind that lamp but...
In order to rid myself of the gizzards myself and Rust worked out in our hotel room. We had little space but like I say, no excuses there is always room for a workout!
As many rounds as you can in 25 minutes, gee it a bash. Mind that lamp but...
Next stop Hanoi and Ha Long Bay!
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