Hello everyone!
I have been in Australia for 5 weeks now and I am finally starting to get into a routine. I have managed to get a job as a waitress (looking to be my life long career at this rate) and I can comfortably walk to the shop up the road on my own now without some how getting lost (or caught in amongst somebodies garden bush). I feel now that I have had time to settle I can share with you my Scotland vs Australia pros and cons list (thus far) which continues to grows on a daily basis.
Let me start with why I feel Australia is better than Scotland....
1. The weather - This is an obvious reason that doesn't need much discussion. Basically the Scottish climate is absolutely shite. End of point one.
2. The beer - So far I have not had one Aussie beer that I dislike and there is actually a good choice. A choice other than bloody Tenants.
3. The wages - basically I get paid $20 to cut somebody a slice of coffee cake. Three slices away until I make Forbes magazines rich list.
4. My accent makes me cool as f**k - back home having a Scottish accent, especially a Greenock accent should make you consider becoming a mute. Over here it is seen as 'enchanting' and if you find yourself in an awkward or life threatening situation, just shout 'freedom!' and everyone will back off.
5. Motivation to not get festively plump - well you can hardly hide your six selection box tummy pouch under a Christmas jumper in 35 degree heat can you? Lunges with the shopping bags it is...
6. BBQs every second day - BURGERS FOR THE BOYS!
7. You can go on a night out in flats, jeans and a singlet - I hate getting ready for a night out, I hate doing my hair, I hate wearing a shit tonne of make up dammit I hate washing my hair. Stick me in a pub with my junkie bun and I am one happy wumen. The Aussies are so chilled that the attire for most occasions is flip flops and a shell necklace.
And now why I feel Scotland is better than Australia...
1. The weather - yes this contradicts my first point but sometimes hearing the rain pelting doon on the roof is quite therapeutic and having an excuse to write a day off and get back in your kip because of the snow is pretty sweet.
2. You don't have to shave as much - the bad weather calls for granny pants, trousers and woolly tights. You could basically have something resembling the bushes in the outback down there and nobody would even know. Lazy girls rejoice!
3. Hangover grub - because nobody does a fry up quite like the Scots and nothing compares to a cold Irn Bru. Nothing.
4. You can walk pretty much anywhere - unlike Australia where walking any where apart from the fridge requires a ruck sack full of supplies to last you a week.
5. Motivation to GET festively plump - well as previously said, in Australia you can hardly hide your six selection box tummy pouch under a Christmas jumper in 35 degree heat can you? When in Scotland it is perfectly acceptable to eat your weight in cheese and biscuits whilst watching the Coronation Street Christmas special. Now that is living.
6. Scotland is probably one of the safest places on earth - you can go to the toilet, sit on the pan and not worry about a deadly spider biting your arse or a raging kangaroo kicking the door in because you have been in for too long.
7. Nights out - yes you can wear your pyjamas out and not get taken away by the men in white coats but the reason it has taken me so long to earn my spot in Forbes magazine is because the cost of a drink is day light robbery, meaning I have been robbed at least 50 times since being here. Currently attending victim support meetings.
So there you have it, my list (so far) of the pros and cons of both Australia and Scotland. A list that is most likely to expand the longer I stay. Now I am off to listen to Flower of Scotland on repeat whilst dancing around in my cork hat.
Hoo-roo!
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