First Time Bulker Thoughts......OI FATTIE!

Ah bulking. The term some of us may associate with an image of Arnold Schwarzenegger downing 12 raw eggs whilst doing leg curls and screaming 'I am the terminator, fear me!'. Or what we hear between a group of meat head blokes when we are being nosey arseholes in the gym. However, in the last few years, the bulking and shredding epidemic has grown bigger quads and it seems to be the norm in the fitness world for both men and women. The idea is to bulk during winter whilst lifting heavy weights and do little or no cardio to gain muscle (and most likely some extra cushion for the pushin) and then shred during the summer months by continuing to lift heavy but also cutting your calories and upping the cardio workouts to make those wash board abs pop and acheive arms that look like they have been blown up with a foot pump. 

I myself have never tried bulking or shredding. Although I have trained in the past with heavy weights, I am a cardio junkie. I love nothing more than doing a HITT workout, sprints or a spin class to work up a sweat and I love pushing myself when it comes to endurance training. I love cardio. I love weights. I love food. So I usually just do it all. I have undoubtly gotten fitter over the years and reduced my body fat but apart from a year or so ago when I lost a fair bit of weight due to stress and work load, I have remained around about the same weight and feel that I have came to a bit of a stand still with my fitness levels and physique. I have always been slim with a fast metabolism but I want to now challenege myself in a different way. I want to try and change my body and become stronger. I want to have Quadzilla legs and be able to do pull ups with my pinky finger (can anyone actually do this!?). I am obssesed with looking at women with incredible muscles and calves like knifes. I want to be them. I want to be able to train like them. Yes I could run my way out of a Zombie apocalypse but when if if came down to being strong and fighting them off I would be screwed (I am not saying that my fear of a zombie apocalypse is the reason I am doing this...there are others too). So after much thought and deliberation I decided to give this bulking malarky a go. 

Ayep. You read it here folks. That means little cardio, heavy weights and ALOT of food. 

Sounds like heaven right? Being able to eat the world and not feel guilty, have an extra hour in bed by skipping that 10k morning run, absolute bliss. 

Wrong.

I cannot believe I, Natalie Morgan, Queen of The Binges am saying this but bulking is....well, it is bloody hard. Really hard. I literally feel that I have to force myself to eat and that I am eating constantly when I really don't want to. I am contemplating getting my hands tied behind my back and letting someone feed me through a funnel (not meaning to be sexual I swear...). Working in a busy cafe doesn't help either as I have to double up my food and shove it down my gub on my ten minute break only to burn it all of again running after people who are on their 5th half shot non fat extra skinny caramel blessed by the Pope latte. I am struggling with not being able to do any cardio and feel like I am turning in to the lassie version of Fat Bastard. 

Okay so I have only put on 3kg in a little over two months but bulking affects you mentally especially if you are a first timer. I have been pushing myself with my weight training and I am getting stronger each week but when you feel that you are putting lots of effort in and the results are an arse that resembles styrofoam packaging rather than one you could rest a pint on is a swift kick to the goonies. 

An actual close up of my arse cheek. 

Girls are crazy. I am crazy. I know I am not big. My clothes that still fit me and the scales tell me other wise but not being able to train like I used to and eat like I used to (which I thought was a lot but compared to now, I was mistaken) does make you a bit (very) paranoid. 

I am determined to do this though. I know this is just a stage and that it doesn't happen over night but in stages (as my boyfriend keeps reassuring me everytime I cry when I feel my thighs chafing) and that as a first time bulker it is natural to feel like this. I can feel myself getting stronger and after each workout I feel great, I feel pumped, I feel sweaty and energised. I just can't yet seem to get ride of the urge to go a run afterwards. 

My New Years resolution (well one, like other crazy females I have many) is to stick to my programm and keep shoving food down my gub for as long as it takes. I want to challenge myself and see something through until the end (usually I get distracted by something shiney). 

So I guess all I can say is cheers to the festive season where I will be welcoming all the chocolate and pigs in blankets that I can get my hands on and nobody try and stop me!